I want to be heard...

There are those moments when life just rolls around you like water in the ocean. You know you're there, but the water surrounds you in such a volatile way that you wonder if the ocean knows you're there.

Life sometimes surrounds me in the same way.

While I'm challenged by the world around me, forced to participate in the lives of the many, I wonder if anyone truly participates in my life. Am I heard? Do people notice that I'm here? Or... Do I simply blend into the woodwork, the wallpaper and the furniture?

As a writer, I view what I have to say as important, valuable and constructive. There's seldom a period of time that I'm not writing down words about something of some importance, at least to me. But, is any of it of importance to anyone else?

This isn't depression, it's simply a wondering about what truly matters. I've spent a lot of time helping others, giving to others, and making an effort to help others, both in writing, in person, and in gifts of money, time or other ways of helping... But, is it noticed?

Each year near Christmas I watch the movie, It's a Wonderful Life. Love that movie. It's amazing! It shows one man that he makes an incredible difference in the world around him and that he has changed the lives of many in his community.

Have I?

Have I made a difference in the world in which I live? Is there anyone out there who is better off because I'm here, because I've impacted their lives in some way? I've never saved anyone from drowning that I'm aware of... or from feeding a neighbor poison... or from a life of boredom as the town librarian? But... I hope I've made a difference.

I hope my life has stood for something, that I've made a difference, and that along through the years, I've impacted the lives of those around me in some positive manner.... And it would be nice to know that...