Irritable Personalities and Relationships

Every family has them, those irritable personalities that require extra effort to get along with and maintain relationships. In our family there have been a few. My ex husband's family were filled up with rude obnoxious individuals who lacked the finesse required to be part of a family. For the most part, they were quite comfortable in their own world rejecting any newcomers and alienating family members without reason or cause. I remember thinking it was just his family's way of rejecting me (taking it personally for unknown reasons), but I've since found that it wasn't just his family. There are many families who have members (either in groups or singular) just like them.

I struggled for years to love them anyway, giving long after there was anything to give. Even after my ex left, realizing that he too was unable to be part of family relationships, I continued to find inner peace through loving. Eventually, I realized that I could choose to love them and they still might choose to reject the love.

Not everybody likes building relationships and being part of a family. Some actually prefer their solitude, at least they claim to prefer it. Whether they really don't want family, or just don't have any ability to co-associate and develop relationships, I'm not certain, but they certainly aren't willing to go the distance to be part of a family relationship.

In a recent discussion with my best friend, she revealed sharp comments made by a sister-in-law about her baby. She is a great mom, but the sister-in-law commented on how unkempt her children are. I've never seen her children unkempt. I have seen them happily playing in the sand box outside their home, or dancing in the sprinkler in the back yard during the summer. I reminded my friend that the sister-in-law has no children and no probably chance of ever having them because she's chosen a career choice that affords her no time for family... She's still single with no serious suitors. With the realization that parenting probably isn't part of the sister-in-law's future, my friend took a different tact to dealing with her over the holidays. Instead of being offended by her advice and comments, she responded with a knowing smile, "It's a real blessing to have children who are sometimes allowed to play and have fun without being concerned about fashion strategies."

When my daughter visited her husband's family and came home frustrated with a brother who has no children and lacks tact, we discussed the same issues. He isn't dating, lacks the ability to consider anyone else's perspective because he's all wrapped up in his own issues. His comments are out of lack of knowledge and understanding, and although they may be intended to strike out at her, she doesn't have to take them that way. She could actually consider his lack of personal experience and simply feel sorry for his inept position rather than taking his comments personally.

When we realize that we can perceive others out of our fullness of life, rather than acknowledging their emptiness, our lives and our responses to family relationships and irritable personalities changes. We gain control of the situation and become more than capable of loving the person through their irritable output. Our ability to love may not improve our relationships with those people, but it will allow us to live in peace without feeling rejection by those personalities.

Charger Mom - The New Super Woman

I used to think superwoman wore a gold bra with red and white spangles all over what little parts of her body she covered. But over the past few weeks, I've come to recognize a different sort of Superwoman.

She's not wearing a swimsuit with meager proportions, and her hair doesn't remain in place no matter the weather. Sometimes her eyes are red from crying and she'd pop out of a swimsuit if she dared to try one on. Her view of life isn't presented before a golden staff, and she doesn't fly from place to place, although there are times when her wings are gilded and her halo holds a perfect shine. The glimpse of a tear in her eye will tell you, beyond any shadow of a doubt that she's not the superwoman figurine, she's a real mom, the total woman, Charger Mom.

Through the Pages of Parenthood, I'd like to introduce you to another Charger Mom, who takes her position and her responsibility very seriously. This mom is single and has fought out the battle that will eventually bring her great success and the privilege of knowing that she's accomplished great things and through her own efforts, her daughter, like my daughter, will know that life offers greatness, wonderment, and the thrill of parenthood.

Beating Down the Goblins to Win the Race Called Life

Last week I spent a lot of time with my kids, thinking often about the lives we've shared along the way. There's never enough time to catch up on all the events and activities that we've missed, but we spend more time celebrating the miracle of those events we've shared. Until the moment when we realize there's something slightly out of sync and we must find the cause...

Brenna mentioned early in the week that she was feeling a bit down due to low response to sales over the past month, but even that didn't take away the joy we were all feeling at spending the time together. My meetings over the weekend didn't quite go as planned. One canceled all together, another postponed and yet one more was rescheduled for Tuesday. Even those events didn't slow down the emotional highs we experienced.

There was a moment when Brenna realized she was struggling financially due to low income from her job this month, but she spent a few moments feeling thrilled gratitude at the health and well being she was experiencing through her pregnancy. She mentioned the wonder she feels at the sight of her AMAZING daughter.

Later, Tatia mentioned how hard it is to always be on top of life and happy, when things go wrong. We talked about being grateful for the good things that come, even when things are going wrong. Sometimes out of the ashes a phoenix does rise.

Discussions of life goblins and how we beat them, before they get to us came up. We chattered about the various goblins our lives have encountered and how we always seem to come out feeling better for the experience. There's an understanding of the process of living that comes from struggling through the failures and destructions of life that allows each of us to encounter the joy of simply overcoming those issues. We all know the gratitude of finding greater pleasures, and these are the reasons.

For interesting stories about how a young single mom overcomes the daily rigors of life and manages to love more, give more and laugh harder, visit Pages of Parenthood. Be sure to sign up for the Ezine and get your fair share of the wonderful gifts and free tips Brenna shares in her revelation of life.

Health Care Reform and Other Government Oddities

If you're socializing on the government ticket this year, you've probably noticed a few disagreements in the system. There's more than a few but a couple are just really irritating the natives around my part of the country.

Obama Health Care PLAN - can we say STUPID? Expensive even. There are better ways and I found one in an unlikely spot. This California farmer (maybe they do grow a few smart ones out there) has a great idea and this one sounds phenomenally feasible.

Cash for Clunkers - Whatever happened to if it ain't broke don't fix it? I can't tell you how incredibly stupid it is to blow up a good engine. I watched a few online thinking there had to be a point to the process, other than adding smog to the atmosphere and blowing up more pot metal. What was that about ecological benefits? How much did Gore get for that stunt?

Cap and Trade ---- If there IS an Ecological purpose for the energy crisis, I believe the process of buying energy tickets may actually be the cause of it. Why does Al Gore and his family deserve more credits than any other family on the planet? Stop the insanity, burn an ecologist! Seriously - the logic is better.

Stimulus --- Any homemaker knows that when the budget is tight you stay home and cook, you don't go spend more money. It just doesn't work that way. Let's see if we can't fix this goof-aw before he becomes any more of a travesty to the nation.

Cal Ripken World Series - Go Team!

Have you ever wondered what a "soccer mom" does when the world series comes to town? You guessed it, I've been hauling kids back and forth to whatever event is happening next. And now there's a deck to measure and build, a door to replace, and the world is getting busier and busier.

Valley National Bank Field is running the official call for weather. It's canceled! The world will never be the same, but there it is, postponed for the night.

But that's okay - if you want to hear what the Cal Ripkin 10-year-old World Series is doing in Lamar, Colorado, just visit the site, click on the link.

The best part, I get the night off to put my feet up and pretend I'm interested in whatever the kids are watching on Television. It's okay, I've got a Ben & Jerry's double dip chocolate fudge Ice Cream and my spoon to keep me company!

Oris, Life Sucks...

Or not. I'm actually having a good day. Mom bended my ear for three hours earlier today. Then you called, THANK YOU! She called me back to repeat her earlier stories. I listened through the nasty details time one, laid the phone down and went to stir the soup during the second time, the third time I laid the phone down and went to get my bowl of soup. The forth time, I just laid the phone down and typed on my book. The fifth time she started into it, I said, "Mom, I'm going to ban you from the phone when it's meal time." She got off the line in a huff. I can't imagine why.

It's all a conspiracy, I tell you. It's the motherhood (my girls will agree - we won't ask my boys).

I don't have hives today. My cough is actually sounding a little less hacky. My throat doesn't hurt and my eyes aren't bloodshot. I may live.

Sean actually got up a little before noon and has more than one article of clothing on his body (of course, I threatened to walk around shirtless with my underwear sticking out if he didn't get dressed - such a sight - could cause a boy to go blind).

Kenton took a shower (we're still looking for it) and sounds better this morning. Of course, he hasn't lifted his face out of the book since he opened the cover, so we haven't heard much of him.

The girls haven't called me yet today, probably don't want to talk to me... Really, a good thing for them. I need to find bitch mode and turn it off. I'll be back to something simulating normal, soon.

Charger

"In GOD we trust..."

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