Abandoned - Feeling as Though You Were Left Behind

Life changes and personal decisions are often made between husbands and wives, sometimes disregarding the other's feelings in the matter. It is unintentional that one leaves the other out, in most cases. As one person does something for themselves, they feel as if they are doing it for both, but rarely is it a case of the second feeling as if the act was for them. More often, the other person feels as if they were left out of the decision if not the action. Life boils down to doing what is necessary for ourselves and sometimes that means abandoning another... Sometimes the abandonment is complete and eternal, other times it's a temporary separation.

If you're the one taking off for wild blue yonder, you may think the other person is being selfish, when in fact, they're missing you.

Feeling abandoned isn't selfish, it's a real, whole feeling that you're allowed to experience and express. Accepting the feelings and moving through them to gain control of a situation helps to gain access to the more pressing concern of what you're going to do about those feelings. In a whole "safe" relationship, a person feeling abandoned (temporarily) can work through the feelings with the other person and the relationship benefits from the experience. In a less safe relationship, the process can inflict permanent wounds.

Taking off for the next county for an hour or two of break time, feeling your own pain and experiencing life without the pitfalls of a host of family and friends gives you room to get a grip on your own feelings. Giving others notice, helps them to understand your purpose and that you'll come back.

The reality is, most of us feel abandoned at one time or another and that feeling is real. If you have family members who have been abandoned, don't perpetuate the issue by continuing to abandon them. Give them notice. "Hey, babe, I'm going to take a cruise. I'll be back."

If you're the one feeling like you've been left behind, don't push the panic button, give the other person time to reappear in your life. Acknowledge that not all exits are permanent and know that you can ave your feelings and still exist without the panic. You have a right and a responsibility to yourself to find a secure place to feel your own emotional highs and lows.