The Dating Game - Prolific Profiles

How do you write prolific profiles for the dating sites? The beginning of the process always starts out so simple, you just reveal a little bit about yourself and then leave it alone for a few days and see what's coming back your way. If you're lucky, you hit on something good the first time, and the first responses are viable. Then again, most often, the first responses are something you'd rather NOT see, and you're picking and choosing through the rubble of information, attempting to fine tune what you wrote to collect a better qualifying person.

Those first postings can often be too passive to grab the attention of the man you really want to attract. But, how do you fine tune who you are?

I'm a strong proponent of being yourself in the presentation. Don't embellish the truth, it's like posting an enhanced photo. Don't do it. Post the real you, and be yourself in all postings. You want someone who will love you where you are, acknowledging that you're a changing being, always evolving to meet the needs of life and family, but still YOU under all the change.

More often than not, there's no way for a possible "friend" to contact you, unless your "friend" picks up on the little hints you leave in your profile. If you're recognizable on the Internet, through google or some other search technique, he may be able to locate you through a profile "brand" or some word combination you leave as a hint, telling him about yourself. Using a personal brand to identify yourself may get you banned from the dating sites, if they catch you at it. Or, it may result in you actually being contacted by your "true love" if he's smart enough to find it.

Are you really interested in finding the right guy to date? When I started looking, the wrong guys kept finding me. They were awful. Always guys I'd never even meet in real life. Then I started meeting a few nicer guys, some who had something in common with me, and a few who actually had the same "likes and dislikes" I did with their own personality and interests. Those guys fascinated me. For a while I was pleasantly surprised by the "anticipation" of having someone new "like" me on the site. Then I realized few of them are members, and none of them are responding in any meaningful way.

This has to go a different direction or I'll never actually meet one of them. So, I changed my profile to include a few phrases where they might find me, if they really looked. Including a few hints as to where they might look. Book reviews, if you post reviews on Amazon, would give your "dating options" a good place to search out your profile and interests. You'd only have to write a book review about the book you say you're reading on the site. Then say you post reviews in your profile. Just don't say where... Most men can find a review on Amazon, or through Google Search Bars.

It's 2010 and the majority of men are computer literate enough to locate essential data via search engine.

My latest review on Life Expectancy by Dean Koontz are up on ACE Writers.

Wanna chat? Email me at jan@janverhoeff

If that's the best there is...

Recently, my daughter talked me in to posting a singles ad, because she has had excellent responses to her own ad. I giggled with her as I posted an ad, depicting not only my best qualities, but the real qualities that make me human. We not only had fun posting the ad, but also enjoyed the first few responses.

There was a wanna be immigrant, asking me to bring him to the USA and marry him. So NOT going to happen! Then there was another person from some far away land where English is not his first language, attempting to convince me he was an American working abroad. NOT. Another contact share his desire for an "older more experienced woman" and I noticed he quoted his age as 26. Ahem, my daughter isn't much younger than he is, and I'd never date anyone that young. And then a serious "suitor" happened past, and contacted me.

He drawled on the phone for two hours about how he hails from northern Texas and has a great job working for the state of Texas. I listened intently, way past the point where I realized I wasn't interested, just trying to be polite. When he started regaling me with his life history for the third time, I begged off, explaining that I had another call to make before it was too late. By that time, I'd already shared with him that I was searching for a more traditional relationship.

The next contestant, proclaimed himself to be a wealthy world traveler with multiple continental experiences. His phone conversation lasted all of five minutes. I decided I'd had enough of his boasting and simply hung up the phone. Polite responses had been rejected, so I figured he needed to hear the buzz of a dead line to stop his boasting.

Then the best of all, a cable television installer responded, explaining that he'd been sober for almost three months now and was looking for a good woman who wouldn't drive him back to drinking. (He laughed) I wasn't laughing. I excused myself from the call and got off the phone.

I went back to the site to remove my "ad" and shared with my daughter that if those were the best specimen the world offered, I'd remain single for the balance of my life. The worst part of the whole experience is that I know others who have had excellent responses from the same site. So, I have to take a serious look at what I was looking for and why those losers singled me out... Was it really the lack of good women in my age bracket?

Just wondering, because I know a lot of eligible women who would not be interested in any of those men.

Thanks, but... no thanks!