Outside the circle

Living with grown children sometimes means giving up the dreams one might have had for retirement. Travel isn't in my near future, and that's okay. I traveled in my youth, and I've traveled enough to know that it isn't where you are but who you're with that matters. The trips across country meant a lot to me, but only because I had family there to share the sunlight, the storms and the world away from home.

But there will come a time when all my children will fly away, like eagles soaring high in the sky achieving heights of their very own, and that time may be coming sooner than I ever wanted to admit. Is it okay?

Am I okay with the idea of living alone?

A Tea Party with Friends

Yes. I'm okay with the drive across country, stopping at a vintage store, an ice cream shop, or a road side park and visiting friends and family occasionally along the way. Short visits. I don't want to stay too long. I'd rather take them out for lunch and be on my way. Maybe stopping for the night in a roadside inn where I can enjoy the sound of morning birds,

I'm looking forward to having a cup of tea with friends and knowing the cookies I bought for the event are still in the pantry. But I'll secretly miss the Grandchildren who would normally have eaten them all up.

I'll remember occasionally the moments when I complained about missing the ability to have a life of my own, while I'm out with friends, chasing rainbows and dreaming of fun things to do. But, on those nights when I have nothing to do, I'll wish my grandchildren were nearby to share a movie or an evening tea party - where we could eat up those cookies.

I'll be living outside the circle, just a ways on the other side of family life, out there, where Mom's live when life isn't quite as full as it was... back then, inside the circle.